I’ve been staring at a blank page for what feels like hours now. 2009 sucked, in almost all regards. No need to make a Good/Bad list. The Bad list would consist of: Mom died. Period. Short but succinct.
I keep my grief in a thin little column of my life, it’s not allowed to seep all over the place anymore or I get nothing done. I had months of getting nothing done, thank you very much. So it’s walled up on all sides with family life and chores and errands and distractions. The only problem with this setup is when I give it any oxygen at all, the grief roars through the channel like a wildfire. I’m not bottling, I’m containing. Do a few controlled burns here and there and it’ll eventually smoke to embers. Then ashes. Like mom.
But 2009 managed to redeem itself in the end, by showing me what a support system really looks like (psst. I’m talking about you guys right here). So thanks for helping me make it through 2009 relatively unscathed, just a little sooty and sprained. Okay, hairline fractures, but I think I’m finally on the mend.